A word between men from Paul

As any AVFM old timer could tell you, those who have worked together here, with the dedicated support of readers, have a lot to smile about. AVFM cut a huge swath through the social discussion about sexual politics, opening a lot of new ground for men’s issues – and challenging the hell out of feminist corruption.

So far in nine years, our battle-pitted armor has gained some patina with the hosting of three International Conferences on Men’s Issues, aiming for a fourth. We survived continuous takedown attempts by a legion of fake news outlets. And we attracted a filmmaker who started out to expose the supposed misogyny driving this movement but ended up blowing the lid off modern feminism and highlighting a host of men’s issues in a way that leaves audiences in tears.

Make no mistake, without AVFM the Red Pill Movie would never have been made.

What’s that you say? Paul is bragging about AVFM, he must want money.

Well, this is indeed a pitch for your support of this important website. As I announced not too long ago, the plans for AVFM’s future are reflected in our new tagline below the logo. “Men’s Health. No Apologies.”

Since we have kicked in the door on the idea of having the discussion, and the gynocentrists no longer have the floor to themselves, AVFM can finally serve men and boys better with guidance on life solutions in the nongynocentric realm, specifically in the area of men’s mental health.

The tough part is that for us it means starting over and gradually rebuilding AVFM into the new model. We will be screening, selecting and working with mental health professionals as potential contributors to the literature here. The conferences will continue but I am also drafting a model of weekend workshops/retreats for groups of men that can be replicated.

Going from in-your-face antagonism of the status quo to real world outreach takes a lot time and effort, especially on a shoestring budget. So, I am coming to you for help.

At the top of the right sidebar to this site, you will find a subscription button, where you can contribute as little as a dollar a month. Five dollars a month means you won’t see Google ads on the site. And you can subscribe at virtually any amount you want. You will also find a donation button, where you can make a one-time donation in any amount. There are options there to mail checks or money orders for those who prefer to avoid PayPal.

I will be leaving this request up in this annoyingly high-profile spot for the next 10 days with hopes that you will part with a little of your hard-earned money to help us get from where we are to where we want to be. Help us build an emotional, intellectual underground railroad for men escaping the dead end of blue pill life.

Thanks in advance to all those who pitch in.

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63 thoughts on “A word between men from Paul”

  1. Oh, OK. Larger picture is starting to make sense here. The site has seemed like it’s been idling for a bit and I had begun to question whether you were still sure of the change in course. Silly me.

  2. The tough part is that for us it means starting over and gradually rebuilding AVFM into the new model.

    I like the sound of beginning at the grassroots where the power of AVfM has always been.

    Looking forward to seeing a slow accumulation of health related writers as we move forward. I know that won’t happen overnight but I’m sure that in a year from today some solid contributors will have found there way here and be red pilling new readers. Looking forward to learning more abt the retreats plan….. donation made.

  3. Godfrey Sandford

    I commend and applaud AVFM’s new focus on men’s health. Men’s health, as each of us knows very well, is routinely ignored and trivialised. Consequently, to the extent that men are in ill-health, society is diminished. Furthermore, it is in the interests of the dependents who prosper from the tax that is seized from taxpayers that the cohort of taxpayers is in good health. Since this cohort of taxpayers is predominantly male, the health of men is critical to effective function of the wretched Big State.

    1. My immediate reaction to the word “health”, especially in the phrase “mental health”, was negative. However, if the word used had been “well-being”, the word that was actually used in June in the new AVfM mission statement, I think my reaction would have been as positive as yours.

      That one changed word, could suck AVfM into the maelstrom of the three-cornered fight between the official mental health industry, mental health consumerism, and down-right anti-psychiatry. Referring to “well-being” instead, enables us to keep out of that minefield.

      1. Godfrey Sandford

        Thanks, JohnAllman, you make a very good point. I agree that ‘well-being’ is a better phrase than mental health. The mental health sector has been pushing to medicalise normal, if unhelpful, states of mind for a number of years, e.g. melancholia. I agree that it is probably best for us to avoid this minefield. ‘Well-being’ is, therefore, the better phrase.
        I do believe, however, than men’s physical health is also trivialised. Medical services then to focus on treating women and children. Sadly, the treatment of ill-health in men (who pay for 75% of the health service because they pay 75% of the tax) seems to fall a long way behind.

  4. great success and good work!
    Id like to see mgtow and expat options for men explored as well.
    just hanging around the sight it seems the expats are the happiest/healthiest.
    Its still guidance on life solutions for men and boys!

  5. If one was so happy to discover a AVfM, because one had come to realise that feminism was one of the dangerous ideologies of some of the people who had damaged one’s life, and one had also realised, for even longer, that another of the ideologies of different people who had also damaged one’s life was psychiatry, and therefore didn’t frequent “mental health” sites, which way should one jump, now that AVfM is reinventing itself as yet another mental health site? Stop following AVfM, now that it has got into bed with psychiatry? Or stick around to see how the former poacher shapes up, when turned game keeper?

    How are we going to reform psychiatry if we cannot even reform feminism? If the only thing to do with feminism is to fight it, then why do we think that there is an alternative way of dealing with the problems that psychiatry causes? Does Paul Elam not know that psychiatry is as flawed as patriarchy theory, and as much a tool of the establishment?

    1. Oh look. A wet blanket tossed from the peanut gallery.

      How clever of you to artificially narrow the scope of possibilities. And from a position of ignorance of Paul’s views, no less.

      1. Feel free to recommend ANY possibility. But if two of one’s life’s lessons have been that feminism is oppressive, and psychiatry is oppressive, is AVfM still going to be any use?

        1. If you’ve been paying attention to Paul over the years, you’d know how he feels about the current state of psychiatry. You’d also know he understands that mental health goes way beyond the boundaries currently imposed by the “mental health” industry. You’re creating a bit of a straw man by assuming, or encouraging others to assume, that “Go see a shrink,” is what Paul is proposing. I’m absolutely certain that you are not the only person who will have this immediate reaction which comes from a place of ignorance; you are far from the only person who can’t be bothered to to inform yourself about Paul’s often stated opinions on the subject. You’re not new here; you don’t have an excuse.

          1. I dont want to pick an argument with you but I have to say the man has something of a point, in that many men have been victims not just of
            feminism but also of the mental helth industry, I myself belive AVFM
            doing something to develop male centric mental helth provision is a good
            thing, but I do understand why many men may be dubious.
            For some of these men the is a huge trust barrier to overcome.

          2. With all respect, if the man has a point, he doesn’t have a hat to hang it on. And without trying to be insulting, generally speaking, there are only two reasons I can think of for the comment he made. One, so knew that he didn’t know anything about the old AVFM, much less the new one. Or two, he isn’t new and just can’t figure out what is going on right in front of his face.

            If he was new, I would have just explained things to him and provided him a link or two to the bigger picture. But he is not new. He is, I think, just being like Suz says. A wet blanket without the sense to ask about things he doesn’t know.

            My schedule got too busy to work too hard on that kind of stick in the mud a long time ago.

          3. Providing me, here, with a link to the bigger picture, would also have provided a link to anybody else with similar thoughts to mine, who was reading this page, but not contributing.

            The ethos of calling somebody a “stick in the mud”, because they comment on a blog post in a way in which they wouldn’t have, if only they’d read the entire blog, is a “devil take the hindmost” ethos. That’s OK if you are trying to train the SAS. But it doesn’t go down well in the caring professions, such as mental health.

            As I understood it, the new emphasis on health was partly out of recognition that some people were walking wounded, whom we had to get well again before we could expect them to fight with us at the front. Maybe some of us are going to present with mental health symptoms, such as being sticks in the mud, who haven’t done their homework, before bursting out with their own thoughts.

            Just saying …

          4. Thank you for the link. I’ve done the reading.

            I appreciate the greater leniency in moderation.

            I especially enjoyed the use of the word “well-being” in the new mission statement (rather than “health”, as on this page).

            “It is the mission of A Voice for Men … to promote [men and boy’s] mental, physical and financial well-being …”

            Using the word “well-being” avoids a problem that I fear may arise if the word “health” is used: namely, the charge (whether true or not) that one is offering therapy, without medical qualifications.

            It would not have crossed my mind to say what I first said on this page, if the word “well-being” had been used instead of “health” here.

          5. We’re well accustomed to those huge trust barriers. I’ve known Paul for a long time and I’ve never seen him beg anyone to trust him. I have however, seen him prove his trustworthiness time and again. We all have. We are all aware of those who hesitate to trust, and we don’t dismiss them outright (except for the ones whose aim is to encourage distrust) but we can’t afford to coddle them. They are welcome to watch from a skeptical distance; eventually they’ll either develop some trust, or they won’t.

          6. Funny story, well, at least to me. So the Thursday of the Colorado retreat I managed to lock myself out of my cousin’s AirBnB in the morning, then I fight that god awful Denver traffic to get to the airport, wait two hours only to find that the person I was picking up was a no-show (in the process bothering the only well-known MRA I knew at the time to get Paul’s number so I can find out “WTF?”, which didn’t pan out anyway), pay for parking, back through the fucking permablock traffic, navigate the crazy mountain roads to the town with a frickin’ gully in the middle of it and roads that are for shit, eat a late lunch because I’m pretty ticked and I don’t know what’s going on, wait ’til it’s just past check-in time and make it to what is probably the rental but given the iffy road markings I’m not that sure, and there’s no cars, people, any signs of life. Shit. Check I have the check-in time right. Shit. So I sit in my jeep, and wait. And fume. Twenty minutes of “Fuck this. I don’t know these people. AVfM is a fuckin’ scam. I don’t know these fuckin’ people. 15 minutes more and I’m heading back into town before it gets dark, find a hotel and I am outa here. Motherfuckers!” . Well, I am really happy that Paul forgot the WiFi password and had to get the car out of the garage to go back to the rental agent to get it, because you and everyone else rolled up about 30 minutes after that, by which time I would have been long gone. I don’t know, maybe I should trust more. Or at least get out and knock on the door. 😉

          7. “we don’t dismiss them outright (except for the ones whose aim is to
            encourage distrust) but we can’t afford to coddle them. They are welcome
            to watch from a skeptical distance; eventually they’ll either develop
            some trust, or they won’t”

            That is all I would expect/want. 🙂

          8. I have only being paying attention for a couple of years at most, as far as I recall. And usually only when Mike Buchanan recommended a piece here. I honestly hadn’t noticed any praise or criticism of psychiatry that stuck in my mind.

            As you say, though, I am far from the only person who couldn’t be bothered to inform myself about Paul’s opinions on the subject, before reacting to the post in front of me. Perhaps others as ignorant as me, will benefit from reading my ignorant concerns, and others here who have been bothered, dispelling them.

          9. There is ignorance, and then there is “ignorance” imbued with a presumption of malice attributed to the thing about which one claims ignorance. If one was truly (and innocently) ignorant of AVfM’s history, one wouldn’t already consider Paul a “poacher” who might be transforming into a gamekeeper, would one?

          10. Well, there is a transformation in Paul’s role. The British idiom “poacher turned gamekeeper” is used when a transformation is tantamount to changing sides (in some respect). Perhaps it was hyperbole, but it wasn’t intended as insulting.

        2. Is psychiatry inherantly oppressive or is it the influance of feminism in psychiatry that makes it so?
          I think it is fair to see if it is posible to reform the industry.
          and I have some faith that AVFM will try to do that rather than get into bed with the enemy.

          1. I would say that psychiatry had more, and worse mutilated skeletons in its cupboard before women got the vote, than feminism has accumulated in its entire history. Kate Millet is a pussycat compared to Ewen Cameron, who should have been tried for war crimes, committed in time of peace.

            Mental health professionals who renounce feminism but who don’t renounce psychiatry (whereupon they cease to be mental health professionals, officially) … hmmm.

            If the plan works, it will be because somebody has thought about how it could go wrong, and protected against that. It won’t go wrong because people like me, who want the plan to work, have trolled concerns. If it goes wrong, it will because of the skulduggery of people who want the plan to fail. I am sure Paul has already thought all that though.

          2. I agree psychiatryhas been abused a vast amount, I would not say that it as a basic idea of poeople have stuff wrong with their mind and some help should be availible is itself bad,
            I would give AVFM a chance given their record so far, and if they do look to be doing it wrong then ask for their reasoning and if that is week then call AVFM out.

        3. Sorry, but you are misusing the term “one”, and it’s becoming annoying. If they are your life lessons then own them but please don’t attribute them to me or anyone else who hasn’t deputized you as their proxy. Thanks.

    2. “now that AVfM is reinventing itself as yet another mental health site”

      I think the point is that it will not be yet just another….

    3. Yeah, that’s the ticket. You got me. AVFM is getting “in bed” with flawed psychiatry. We are going to be “yet another” mental health site. You sly devil, you. You figured out my scheme from my work, where I always cozy up to the mental health establishment.


    4. AVfM is taking exactly the right course. What’s the first rule of being a life guard? Save yourself. Save yourself, then save the drowning person. But if you can’t swim strongly enough the result will be two bodies hauled off the beach, not just one. Half, no strike that, most, most of the problem of feminism, really gynocentrism, is the vast majority of men in our society can’t twitch a muscle without looking for assurance or approval from some woman or women. You can’t change society without those guys. Those guys are unlikely to change without help that does not count their masculinity as wrong or toxic, so AVfM is becoming a resource to find that help. It may not be as fun as railing in grandiloquent style against the inequities of feminism, and there’s certainly a place for that, but in my opinion this is more productive.

    5. If I may, let me simplify, Paul wants to help mens mental health with mental health professionals that understand and/or reject the devastating effects from the gynocentric collective.

      ((( YES ? ))).

      At least that is the basic idea I got out of this article and Paul is asking for some financial help, if I am correct that sounds great.

      Anyone ?

      1. I thought that was probably it. However, in the short time I been interacting with this site, I hadn’t read any posts that prevented me being surprised to learn of the intended shift in AVFM;s core emphasis.

        Include me in, for now. Although on a low income, I’ve made a one-off donation for the time being, for the first time, and will doubtless now be reminded automatically now and then that I didn’t subscribe monthly (I hope).

        Probably the best place to discuss this in detail, including any scepticism about whether the plan will work, and personal anecdotes about bad experiences with the mental health industry, would be over on the forum. I might start a discussion thread there. Paul can then take heed of it, or dismiss that thread, as he sees fit, over the coming months, as his new project unfolds.

        All the best.

        1. John:

          The forum does have a “Men’s Health” section, which might be a great place to start a discussion. Also, you might be surprised to find out there is a man, who has written articles for AVFM, which go back several years and is a psychotherapist.

          Here’s a hint: “Men are Good”

    6. I couldn’t find “reform feminism” anywhere on the mission statement, nor do I recall it ever being there. Why the hell would we want to reform feminism?

      1. We, as in AVfM, wouldn’t. But the blue pill leads to a “nice feminism / nasty feminism” mindset. Some of “we” men, *do* want to reform feminism.

        Arguably. taking the red pill ought to stop one from believing that psychiatry can be reformed. Arguably, it should quench the “nice psychiatry / nasty psychiatry” mindset too.
        Arguably. But I am not pursuing that argument, for the sake of not being argumentative and annoying, or a “wet blanket”. I’m going along with the group think now, hoping that it’s sound. I’ve made my point. Take it or leave it. I’m not arguing for that point any more.

  6. I will match anyone’s donation up to $200. I appreciate AVFM as an outlet for psychological viewpoints outside of the “standard narrative”. Can’t say as I blame John Allman his skepticism with psychology or Paul his corresponding fuckyoududitude. Both seem reasonable, in my mind, men openly behaving like men is the best part of AVFM. Now, who’s gonna’ take me up on the match?

    1. I already donate monthly but I’ll take you up on that offer. $200.00 just donated for your match. Thank you Jewel. Paul can confirm.

      Paid with
      DISC x-XXXX
      You’ll see “PAYPAL *AVFM EDULLC” on your card statement.
      Transaction ID
      Sent to
      Red Pill Solutions, LLC
      Purchase details
      Purchase amount$200.00
      Item #VOMN-OTD

      1. Awesome! I’ll get mine in this weekend. I can’t do it from work. I’m a member as well but am happy to support what goes on here as I think it’s super important. Where else on the internet could I be called a secret feminist? 🙂

          1. Crydiego, you may or may not be wrong sometimes, but you’re always awesome and you’re always a welcomed site in comments. 🙂

    1. I matched this as well, in tribute to you @disqus_417BuCg26f:disqus for the kind words and in part for an unintentional hassle I caused for Tom Golden @menaregood and @paul_elam:disqus
      Hopefully Paul will confirm that match.

        1. I can’t speak for anyone else, but it is my pleasure. I appreciate AVFM as an alternative voice to the Mind Hive Death Cult.

        1. I know you do. There’s a few of us and we all love you. All of the comments I’ve made are from the heart. I think AVFM is the most important website in the world right now. It’s what’s going to keep the order from crumbling into chaos.

          If you ever think I’m rocking the boat in a weird way take a look over the edge. There is quite often an Easter egg floating near the surface. Anything relating to the public access station is Weird City… It’s almost like a mini series.

          There’s a State Fair update that just got published from the MIndhive. Someday people are going to look back at the release dates of these articles and they’re not going to believe the weirdness from Otto Warmbier, Justine Damond, James Damore and Charlottesville. Too. Weird. It doesn’t change the fact that it appears that everything is getting weirder every day.

          See you soon!

      1. Just a small obsrervation regarding an old matter concerning hate groups and the SPLC… please check out THE GREG GUTFIELD SHOW youtube video posting …….https://youtu.be/7jQNe_9fMac
        and later ‘forced correction’…. will try to find it if anyone is interested

  7. Just throwing this out there but why don’t we think about going after the media for ads and programs that insult men. A good start could be to review shows, ads, or magazines sponsored by Cadillac, — Cadillac is a man’s brand.

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